Hedonisia Community Guidelines on Dating & Sexual Harassment
As defined by the US Government, sexual harassment is:
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when:
- submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment,
- submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individuals, or
- such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment. (29 C.F.R. § 1604.11 ).
A Community of Individuals
The Hedonisia community respects everyone's right to space and privacy. We do NOT tolerate sexual harassment from any member of the community.
The current definition of sexual harassment is quite grey. Comedian Chris Rock once said, "Sexual harassment is when you are ugly! If you're good looking, it's called flirting!"
Overly broad interpretations of sexual harassment laws have limited romance in the workplace. Fear of lawsuits causes many corporations to implement policies on sexual harassment that ban all dating in the workplace.
Even in small companies, workers are so concerned about false accusations that they rarely date or flirt with their colleagues! Even some feminists agree, this has removed many joys of social interaction from the workplace.
An intentional community is different from a business! People with similar interests live, work and hang out in the same place. So there is more room for romance, or misunderstandings!
Eco-Feminist Community Sexual Harassment Information
For Guests, Volunteers, Interns and the Community Director, we designed a set of ethical guidelines to have fun and yet feel safe and protected while working, living and hanging out at a unique eco-feminist community in paradise!
We make great effort to ensure that everyone at Hedonisia feels safe enough to enjoy themselves. This is especially true for female travelers. We provide the space and a beautiful tropical setting for intimacy to blossom. But we don't force it. As a result, because travelers have a feeling of safety in the community, many wonderful romances have started here!
- Consent Culture: The Hedonisia Community operates from the perspective of Consent Culture. This is defined as one in which the prevailing narrative of sex is centered around mutual consent. It is a culture with an abhorrence of forcing anyone into anything, a respect for the absolute necessity of bodily autonomy, a culture that believes that a person is always the best judge of their own wants and needs.
- Jungle Queens = Empowered Women! The confidence that comes from being able to handle a machete often means that Jungle Queens are less afraid to choose their friends and lovers! If you are a woman and you actually do like someone on the property tell them! With our empowered approach to gender equality, double standards do not apply at our community!
- Intern Community Managers: Hedonisia Interns also date! However, as persons in a position of authority, they too must abide by all sexual harassment rules or they will be asked to leave.
- Mojo - Community Director: As the cisgender male founder of an Eco-feminist community, Mojo follows a higher standard than any other community member. Despite his position of authority, he deliberately takes a background role to support female leadership in the community. In fact, for much of the year Mojo does not even live in Hawaii. He resides at the Portland Micro-Community, directing Hedonisia from behind the scenes. As someone who practices Ethical Non-Monogamy, he may flirt but will not initiate intimacy with a female unless she makes the first move!
- Clear Communication. The easiest way to avoid sexual harassment is clear communication. If anyone at Hedonisia steps over your personal boundaries tell them! If they persist, notify an Intern or the Director immediately. However, if you like someone tell them too! One of the biggest confusions in cases of sexual harassment against women is that men often don't know whether a female likes them or not!
- Overnight Visitors: Unlike other communities, we allow community members to invite a friend or lover from "off property" to sleep in their space. Overnight visitors pay a Discount Rate of $20 per night if they sleep in the same space as their host who is also responsible for their behavior while on the property. They also must sign the Registration form with their ID. If lovers become closer and decide to live together then they may interview to be a Volunteer or Intern. Or they can continue to pay the discount rate.
Grievance Procedures, Disciplinary Sanctions & Policies
- Criminal Harassment. If a case of sexual harassment in the community is criminal, we will not hesitate to inform the relevant authorities.
- Mediation. Hawaii law allows for the possibility of supervised mediation in the case of any harassment charge. Interns on duty or the Community Director can act as a mediator in minor cases where both parties agree.
- Interns. Interns enjoy a position of authority in the community. However, any intern found guilty of a non-criminal charge of sexual harassment can be either demoted to a lessor position or required to leave.
Gay Sexual Harassment!
In the past, we directed our enforcement of Sexual Harassment rules for the protection of women. We did not think that young men would have a problem with sexual harassment as they would be able to take care of themselves!
We were wrong and our PC culture is partly to blame! Today, many heterosexual young men are gay tolerant. Younger males can be so politically correct they will not complain if they are sexually harassed by a man, to avoid accusations of prejudice. That happened in 2013 at our community with a gay male Intern. He made young men on the property quite uncomfortable with heavy flirting and graphic descriptions of his intimate experiences with past lovers. Younger men on the property were unwilling to confront him because they did not want to seem homophobic. It was only after this man left that we discovered how prevalent his predatory behavior was.
In response, we are more sensitive to the feelings of men if they feel they are being pressured to be sexual with someone of the same gender when they don't want to be. That is sexual harassment and we do not tolerate it with any gender!
In 2015 we also had an incident with lesbian women hassling other female members of the community! So we are now aware that sexual harassment can come in many forms!
A Sex Positive Community . . . on the Web!
Eco-Feminist Web Portfolio: An Intern who chooses to work on our web projects may be dealing with subjects like reproductive rights or sex positive feminism.
Our community has deep respect for personal space and boundaries of other interns, guests and volunteers so we require that interns comfortable working with such material sign an additional Privacy & Non-Disclosure Agreement.
Pleasurable Activism & Respect for Personal Boundaries and Consent.
Hedonisia is a 'community of individuals' that respects each consenting adult's life choices as long as they don't encroach upon the rights of others.
Because Hawaii is relatively conservative when it comes to non-monogamous relationships, we have strict respect for personal boundaries. This is demonstrated in our Sexual Harassment & Dating Guidelines.
As Community Director of Hedonisia, I am aware of my position of authority. So I adhere to an even higher standard than other community members. However, to ensure space and separation, and to avoid even the appearance of impropriety, I work most of the year at our Apartment 'Micro-Community' in Portland OR!
Our eco-feminist projects can deal with sex positive subject matter. As a result, feelings can arise. I may flirt but always am respectful of personal boundaries.
I am a Pleasurable Activist and Ethical Non-Monogamist'! I enjoy living in Portland, one of the most feminist and sexually progressive cities in the world. It allows me the freedom to enjoy polyamory with like minded friends and lovers!
Hedonisia is a living experiment. As we continue to evolve, we will bring a more sensual and pleasure centric focus to our community. Hence the reason for our building of social bridges to Portland! However, that is a long way off! For the next few years we will continue to be a great eco-tourist community offering quirky lodgings and wonderful 'VolunTourism Programst' !
By Mojo Mustapha - Community Director